There Are No Such Things As Vampires part 1

Some time ago, when I was not quite finished with my previous story, I asked if anyone had any opinions or requests for my next story.  I only received three replies, two of which asked for a mystery.  Well, I will try to be obliging, but if you don't like my next story, remember that I gave you all a chance...

Chapter One
I get a new case

Regardless of what contemporary authors may say or write, vampires do not exist.  Many other 'monsters,' as we have chosen to call ourselves, such as werewolves, dragons, and fae exist, but not vampires.  They never have.  Personally, I think the reason for humans thinking them up might have been us gargoyles.  After all, we typically sleep during the day, and roam at night.  Many of us have fangs.  Our strength and speed are by far superior to that of humans (no offense).  While we are asleep, our skin turns to stone (and even when we're awake, it's pretty darn tough).  But we don't drink blood.  And we have wings.  Many of us have tails.  Our skin is warm, unlike the alleged cold of the undead.  And we commonly have a short layer of fur.  Other than that, we're almost exactly like vampires.

Sorry, I should introduce myself.  My name is Tristan Wormwood, and I am a gargoyle.  I am also a private investigator.  My job is to solve private cases, and also, if the police need my help, to track down any monsters that are making our presence in the world known to the human population, and thus endangering our existence. 

You see, for some strange reason, humans tend not to like us.  It could be that we don't look like them, most of the time.  It could be that most of us could kill them in about 1001 nasty ways.  It could even be that they want to experiment on us to find out why we do what we do.  But whatever the reason, they've had a history of trying to kill us, or stuff us, or dissect us, etc.  So many centuries ago, we set up little pockets in reality-special communities where monsters live, but humans can’t go.  And we decided that it's best for all if we keep our existence hidden.  So nowadays, if some numbskull werewolf gets drunk one full moon and goes on a rampage, or a mummy begins randomly putting curses on people, the MCPD (Monster Control Police Department) has to find them and clean up the mess.

Being a detective gets me into the craziest scrapes.  However, the one I would have to say was one of the wildest occurred in the early months of 2012, and nearly jeopardized all life as we know it!  And yes, I am fully aware of how cliche that sounds.

It was a cold morning in March, in the town of Styxburg, Idaho.  It's a hideout place for monsters, protected by about 50,000 spells, so only monsters know where it is.  It's somewhere north of Boise, and my home.  Rains a lot, but I like rain.  Anyway, it was 9:30 a.m, the time when most gargoyles are asleep.  However, since most of my clients are diurnal, I've had to adjust.  I was just thinking of getting myself a toasted bagel and a glass of milk (I hate coffee), when the door to my office crashed open, and before I knew it, I had a case.