“Ah, ah, ah…” I held up a claw. “I want to set a few conditions before I agree to this.”
Baba Yaga looked ready to point out that I was in no position to be making conditions, but finally decided that well, what was the harm, and gestured for me to proceed.
“I would like to be given as much information as possible on what would aid me in my quest;* traps or guardians Koschei might have, ways to get in to his place, the actual location of his place, where the sword might be, etc.” I sat down at the table, drumming my claws on it. “I would also like to have any items, magical or otherwise, that can help me retrieve the sword quickly and, if I can, without getting caught. And-” I quickly put in- “I’d like you to promise that while I am gone, and after I return, you will not do anything to harm, persuade, trick or coerce my assistant to stay here, since my entire reason that I might agree to do this is so you will let her go.”
She ran through my demands, looking for any potential loopholes. I kept my face blank so that she wouldn’t realize I was doing the same. Finally, the witch nodded with a grin.
“It appears there are laws that even I have to obey in these sort of situations. You have a deal.” She waved her hand, and a long paper appeared. “Here is the contract.”
Just in case, Calla and I read through the contract. The terms were straightforward enough: I had to go to Koschei the Deathless’ residence and steal the sword Kladenets, bringing it back to Baba Yaga within a week, or else she would assume I was dead and/or had chickened out, and Calla would become a part of her collection.** She would provide me with whatever assistance I needed to reach the place, but once I was inside, she could not directly help me, because the sorcerer’s magic would not permit it. The lines at the end where we were to sign our names had a golden sheen to them that I recognized as part of a spell.
“What’s that?” I asked, pointing to it.
“What? Oh, that.” She smirked at me. “Just a little insurance valve to make the contract binding.”
“Does that mean we have to sign in blood?”
“Why, yes.” She seemed surprised at my having to ask.
I gave Calla a sympathetic glance, since she’s kind of squeamish around blood, and prepared to cut one of my claws. Then, to my surprise, a knife appeared in Calla’s hand, and she was stepping up to where the contract lay.
“Kid, what are you doing?”***
“I should sign too. It was partly my decision.”
Knowing Xen and Lars would probably kill me if they found out, I nodded my head in consent. She had to close her eyes as she stuck herself, but she managed it. Baba Yaga had already sliced open her finger, and after I produced some of my own blood, the three of us allowed our blood to drip onto the lines. As soon as they touched the paper, the drops of red perfectly formed themselves into our signatures. The deal was struck.
*/*/*/*
Soon enough, I was headed west, with a bag of useful items tucked between my wings, and with the sinking feeling that I was in more than a little over my head.flashback flashback flashback
“Koschei the Deathless is in the Kremlin?!”
“Yes,” said Baba Yaga, giving a sniff of disgust, “He always did like to show off.”
I decided not to point out that the pot was calling the kettle black. Instead I said, “Wow, you want me to invade the Kremlin. It’s like I’m in Mission: Impossible or something.”
She looked confused. “Like what?”
“Don’t worry about it. Where exactly in the Kremlin?”
“I don’t know the definite location; I’ve never been able to get close enough to find out. But I think his headquarters is somewhere in that fancy church.”
“St. Basil’s Cathedral?” Calla supplied.
“Thank you, myshka.” The witch smiled at Calla, and actually pinched her cheek. It was like she was trying to act like a grandmother. But she didn’t have that much experience, obviously; when she released Calla, there were a few bloody scratches on her face. She winced, and pulled out her medical kit to fix them up. Baba Yaga didn’t notice.
“So what can you tell me?” I asked.
“The main part of the building where Koschei lives is the Church of the Intercession; however, he has guardians and spells set up throughout the cathedral. The price for their being strong enough to keep me out, however, is that it will be harder for them to keep out anything that seems small and unimportant. Like you.”
“Gosh, thanks.”
Oblivious to my sarcasm, or just ignoring it, she went on, “His security system begins at the walls inside the Kremlin, and has a few more places dispersed throughout the inside.” She conjured up a map to show me, and began explaining the different creatures and spells I could expect to face. For the sake of keeping you in suspense, I won’t go through them right now.
“...I suspect that the sword-and the rest of his collection-are somewhere inside the cathedral. I recommend starting on the ground floor, and working your way up-it might even be inside one of the domes, knowing him.”
“What’s the sword look like, anyway?”
“Oh, silly of me not to show you earlier.” Baba Yaga then conjured up an image of it, like a hologram, which floated above the map, allowing me to get a good look at it.
It was thin, with a simple golden handle, and its name written in the Cyrillic alphabet along the blade, which was about the length of my leg. “So you have no idea what it does?” I asked. “For all you know, it could just be enchanted to help you cut up sushi more efficiently or something.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” she retorted, “Koschei wouldn’t have it if it was for something as trivial as that. It must wield unimaginable power of some kind.”
end of flashback end of flashback end of flashback Now I was heading for the closest village with a teleportation mirror, wishing that I hadn’t had to leave my cell phone behind. However, the babushka had insisted that Mr. the Deathless could have used it to trace me and or/Baba Yaga. As a result, I’d been forced to call Xen just outside of Izbushka to inform her of the situation, and then leave it behind. Xen was...kind of displeased. But not surprised. And she had to reassure me that she wasn’t mad at me at all, she was mad at Baba Yaga, and she’d ask her mother to come down while I was gone to help out with Phil. I still felt guilty, especially since I’d probably be out of touch with her for a week at most, unless something truly horrible happened, and by thinking that, I knew I was tempting fate again. Thankfully, the closest monster village was within flying distance, and I was using one of my universal tokens to get teleported inside the Kremlin. I can hear some of you asking, “Couldn’t you just fly there?” Yes, I could, but it would mean spending a bit of extra time and energy that I couldn’t afford to lose, and this way I could actually get past the security system on the walls without arousing suspicion yet. Any other questions while you’re at it? Anyone? Okay, you. The question was, “Where was Calla during this?” The answer is, she was staying in Baba Yaga’s hut, as collateral, until I got back. I didn’t like it any more than you do, but she had promised not to do anything harmful or that would force her to stay with her, and even though the old witch was a sneaky, manipulative creature, she could be trusted to keep a bargain. Even if she would be looking for loopholes the entire time, like Rumpelstiltskin in that one TV show.
* Gad, I was thinking of it as a quest now; what was this world coming to?
** And believe me, it did not rankle at all that she was treating my assistant like property. Really.
*** Even though that was kind of obvious.
